Almost 18

What a lovely feeling to have your almost 18 year old daughter want to hang out with you.
Tonight she baby sitted my god daughters children and then came and hung out with me and my other family.

I am so proud.

Sometimes I wonder what sort of mother I am. No doubt we all do.
I wonder if im doing it right......... not like there really is a right, (or so i tell myself), but there sure is a wrong....kind of :-) mmmmm well i know there isnt really

I very often wonder if my daughters are well adjusted, educated effectively, happy, content, happy, like me, love me, need me, hate me, want to slap me, happy.

Well on times like today, it all feels like i did ok..... which is a great feeling.

My youngest wild child was cool about not getting a place in the dance comp tonight, she seemed even more content when I gave her money for maccas on the way home :-)

But all in all, im doing ok :-) Actually im doing pretty bloody good, i reckon  :-)

Ive been a single mum for the best part of 15 years, (and to be honest, that 15 years has been the absolute BEST 15 years of my entire life. we live in a lovely home, with a nice car, business is doing well and after days like today, i look and feel how blessed we all are xxx

love and blessings
to the two glorious loves of my life
i hope you always know who you are in this world but especially to me

i love you both

and especially to all the parents out there, struggling to make a difference

i love honour and respect you all
xxx

The Ultimate Dance Challenge Eistedfodd

My daughter has been dancing since she was 8.
Her whole world is dance.
She doesnt walk or run, she just dances.
With every breath she takes and every word she speaks is dance.
My daughter is 15
She is creative and talented and the "firey" one in this family, although no more than i was at her age. She is hard on herself and in constant need of acknowledgement (no idea where she gets that :) )She is powerful and passionate about her craft and i so admire that.
It took me 40 years to work out what my purpose is, it took her 8.
She is such a painful star sometimes
So arrogant
So touchy
So obstinant
So beautiful
So talented
So fantastic
I am so in love with her
Xxx
sitting here today in this large hall, quietly in the fifth row of the eistedfodd audience.
Im watching the endless dance school troups on stage, patiently waiting for her turn.
Sitting around me are the stage mums, the proud mums, the perfect mums the honourable dads, the guilty dads, the bored siblings.
Hang on here she is.............
Wow!!! she was amazing
I always cry
Im so moved
So in love
Now i have to sit through 8 more troups
Im so nervous


Well the results are in.........:
Im so nervous....
Very surprised, not even a place
Everyone is shocked
You can never tell what these people who call themselves judges are looking for
Oh well... Next time
xxx